Stocks can be a lot like aluminum cans

When things are this topsy-turvy, it sometimes helps to have a sense of humor.

Fortunately a colleague gave me something to laugh about.

This was circulating by e-mail. I can't attest to its accuracy or the date which it was written. My apologies to anyone who might have owned any of these stocks:

"Retirement Plan Investment Tip: If you had purchased $1,000 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49. With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1,000. With WorldCom, you would have less than $5 left. If you had purchased $1,000 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49 left. If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left.

"But, if you had purchased $1000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling refund you would have $214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. This is called the 401-Keg Plan."

The action lately might drive you to drinking, but hang on, it's going to get better — or worse.

I recently blogged that I entered small equal shares in four ETFs: State Street Global Investors Financial Select Sector SPDR (XLF), SPDR S&P MidCap 400 (MDY), SPDR S&P 500 (SPY) and Dow Diamonds Trust (DIA).

Though I was feeling good during the first part of the week, by Thursday the gains the market saw were wiped out with a hefty 280-point plunge in the Dow. What the market giveth, it taketh away.

I'm still holding on though. And according to a MarketWatch story last week, I'm really smart, or there are a lot of dummies along for the ride with me.

The five daily all-time trading volume records for Financial Select SPDR Fund were set in the last two weeks, suggesting investors are hoping that a bottom is near for financials, MarketWatch reported.

"The trading activity in the ETF has been "crazy" recently," Dan Dolan, director of wealth-management strategies at the Sector SPDRs, told MarketWatch. He said several times during the past two weeks, the financial ETF has seen the highest trading volume for any U.S.-listed security.

So I raise six aluminum cans to us, the smart investors. At least we'll have something to fall back on when it all comes crashing down.